Blow the Trumpet, Blow the People

Well, the following video brought up a very valid point that I had somehow missed in the wake of the ever-ominous Doomsday. The following educational video (Vytau, thank you again for sharing it with me, I will be forever in your debt...and by "forever", I mean during the next 5 months)

So, for those of you who are your god's chosen ones, here's an educational video for what you are to do beginning tomorrow evening: 

For the rest of you heathens who will be left behind, I hope you watched the above video for a well-needed giggle.  Now, don't think that you're without task starting tomorrow. I have composed an itinerary that should be followed loosely.

Friday, May 20th, 2011
Wake up, stretch, take a deep breath. Enjoy the moment, it will be a busy day. Kinda.

Please, if you run into any of the CHOSEN ONES, make fun of them relentlessly. Provoke them, if you must, but please, please, PLEASE do not touch or physically harm them. Let them take care of it.

Spread the word of the After-Rapture party.  Or, even better, make plans to host one yourself. I recommend throwing a kegger...for two reasons: 1) I haven't been to a good kegger in a very long time, and 2) you're gonna need a hell of a lot of beer.


Saturday, May 21st, 2011:
(The END OF DAYS!!!)
Today might very well be the longest day of your life. Which is understandable, there's the largest party in history happening, with the world's biggest squares/tools/douche bags being beamed up and out of our lives.

Please continue your lives as usual today.  For those of us lucky enough not to have actual weekends off, please go to work.  And those of you who do have weekends off, please go buy things.  Stimulate the economy. Go to the park. Do something, anything.  But for the love of gods, do *not* stay home.

Buy Beer, liquor, and party supplies. Particularly, red, yellow, orange and black balloons. Maybe some streamers. Scratch that maybe. Streamers are a must.

Come up with a detailed list of party games. This could include:
Pin the Jesus on the cross
Naked Twister
Kings and/or
Scategories
Who's in my mouth
Name that Cult
Monopoly: Apocalypse Addition
Scene it: The Rapture
The Game of Life (and death)
Russian Roulette

Of course, I trust that you can be creative enough until....

MIDNIGHT: Sunday, May 22nd, 2011 
Much like the New Years ball dropping, there should be a countdown. Congratulations, you survived the rapture! Be prepared to spend your Sunday as you normally would, but a little happier. You may go grocery shopping, which won't be nearly so aggravating with out the holier-than-thou bible bangers. Go to the mall, with the same outcome. Go to McDonald's for that double cheeseburger to take care of your hangover. Take a nap, flip through the Kama Sutra, watch some porn. After all, you've got the next five months ahead of you to essentially party.

Blessed be,
Lillith